Right now I'm sitting at my desk back home. I'm on winter break right now, but I'll be going back soon in a few days. I haven't updated this blog in a while, but I feel like I really need to write this down. Maybe as a reminder. Seems that I'm most motivated to write whenever I feel upset or feel strongly about something. I was thinking of talking to my friends from college about this but this time I think I'll just keep this to myself.. it's not that I don't trust them. And it wouldn't be the first time I've talked to close friends about my mother. Usually I'm very open to close friends about my family problems.. but I've given it some thought and some part of me feels like they either don't know how to respond or deep down they just don't care. And it's not that they're bad friends.. but I know at least one of them would respond with an "I know how you feel" or "I have it worse" kind of story. So I've decided to keep my problems to myself. Because I'm tired of expecting as much from others as I give. It's selfish thinking but I feel like this is how I can protect myself and become a little more independent.